In 2007,I started having pretty serious mental issues.I wouldn’t even know what to call it,but i identified a little bit with depersonalization.Even though my experiences have shaped me,I recently thought that it would have been a good idea to have gotten a good therapist instead of thinking that drugs were the only option to alleviate my stresses.
There are alot of resources out there to help people with mental issues. Some people think that getting help or assistance is a weakness,but if you want to better your life, sometimes its better to get a little help.
I started abusing drugs in 2006,after discovering the mood enhancing effect of ambien,which was administered to me at a psych hospital.From then until 2012 I abused many drugs,such as adderall,cocaine,benzodiazapines,painkillers,and many more. I thought my problems were bad when i had depersonalization,but the emotional suffering that drugs caused me was UNBEARABLE.
For the first couple of years of doing drugs,I didn’t experience too many emotional problems,because there was never really a time where i wasn’t under the influence of something. But i got into relationships that i shouldn’t have been in and probably would have never gotten into had i been sober.My potential was great but that and my growth were heavily stunted by the use of drugs,and not getting the proper help for my mental issues.
I liked the feeling of being high.I was able to conversate and have fun. In 2009, I started having a weird tingle in my head that to this day is still affecting me.I used to take drugs to suppress it.It still gets in the way with my functioning,but now I see a therapist and she has been aiding me with coping skills and support to try to overcome it.
Over the past 7 years i’ve been in psych hospitals almost 30 times or more. They were seriously getting sick of seeing me.I didn’t know what else to do.
I learned about something called “mindfulness” in Dialectical Therapy program i attended.Mindfulness is about being present,being in the moment. Also, i have learned about meditation and prayer.I believe in a higher power.If you google guided meditation on youtube,you will find thousands of video’s of guided meditation that will help you to relax if your stressed out.